Nature vs Nurture

This is Niya.In the third chapter of Daniel Bergner’s The Other Side of Desire: Four Journeys into the Far Realms of Lust and Longing, we are introduced to a man named Roy. Roy along with his penchant for flying kites has a deep sexual longing for young girls. Very early in his description Bergner parallels Roy’s story to that of the infamous Lolita. The 1955 novel details the story of a middle aged man, Humbert Humbert, who becomes sexually involved with a 12-year-old girl named Dolores Haze. The analogy for Roy however, deals with his first sexual childhood experience. As Humbert Humbert had Annabelle, Roy had is mother’s sister, a young girl only two years his senior.

The thrill Roy experienced from this first sexual experience is what he hoped to find in all of his subsequent lusting after young girls The "trembling childhood thrill" which he experienced with his aunt, would remain the goal in all other sexual activities (Bergner, 102). In later years, this search would place Roy lurking through the computer for sexual attention from him wife’s twelve year old daughter, Faith, and her best friend. 

Roy’s actions are what most would consider predatory. He took advantage of his relationship as a trusted adult to these two girls combined with their own new found awareness of the social relationships between males and females. He followed their internet chat logs, and when possible began chatting with him on his own.While reading his story, however, I could not help but wonder how much of the blame for current predicament lie with his sexual encounter with his aunt. Having been sexually engaged as a child, Roy’s deepest sexual passion surrounded young people. How different would it be is his first sexual and romantic love been with girl read hair, and  subsequently leading him to fantasize and lust after red heads? Fantasies such as this arise everyday for men and women. Roy just had the unfortunate luck of feeling a passionate connection, with someone who may not have understood the entirety of the situation.

 
          It seems Roy’s story is just a mix of awful fate and inappropriate conduct. But to make him out as a callous sexual offender seems much too strong of a description. Maybe it is the time he has spent in group counseling, or Bergner’s writing portrays a much more repentant man than exists. But reading his story, there is a great part of me that would like to believe the subsequent to Roy’s interaction with his aunt, there was not much of a chance for him. His sexual desires as tested placed Roy “within the realm of ordinary male desire”, causing me to eternally ponder where it was nature or nurture that granted him such an unfortunate life (Bergner,115).