Desire is a Funny Thing

This is Jamie.

            By far, one of the most interesting books I’ve ever had to read for class is Daniel Bergner’s The Other Side of Desire.  What a foreign concept to discuss the tolerance of people with such (insert appropriate word to describe the uncommon but that is not to say odd or weird but considers the possibility of peculiarity….) sexual desires.  This book allows for an understanding of the minds of people that normally society deems “abnormal” or “strange”. 

            I really liked the way that Bergner translated how Fred Berlin described his career as a psychiatrist.  “Berlin liked to consider human erotic life from the vantage of a Martian scientist gazing down at Earth…He would observe these Earthly desires and define their differences, with no judgment of value attached to them.”  Berlin talks about sex as a “powerful, biologically based appetite.”  It is fascinating to think about it in this way because not too many people can see it like that when it has to do with fetishism and violence.  He goes on, “And if that drive gets aimed in the wrong direction it still wants to be satisfied.  You know, sleep is another biologically based drive—you could promise yourself all you want that you’re not going to give in to that craving for sleep, but let me tell you, eventually you’re going to.  That’s the struggle some people are having sexually.”  This line embodies the idea behind this book.   It has always been a mystery to me how some people can do things sexually that I can barely fathom.  This book really opened my eyes to a much better understanding of why people do what they do. 

            While these desires can be explained and understood even when they are extremely difficult to comprehend like in the case of incest and rape, the natural sexual desires people have need to be limited and tamed by society.  (This is for you, Freud).  Just because humans have the desire that might be perfectly explained by inner motives, does not mean they can do whatever they want.  If we have to limit some individuals desires in order to protect others that is quite acceptable and understandable.  The usage of anti-androgens to help control some urges could be a really helpful tool.  The best thing these people can do is to conquer their issue and go to counseling and work to better themselves so that no non-consensual violence occurs.  To the people who want to inflict pain for pleasure and have the consent of their partners, I say to each his own and enjoy.  My only issue is when these kinds of desires involve innocent victims.  That is when help needs to be sought.