A Blessing or a Curse?

This is Diana.

I am very glad that we got to read Daniel Bergner’s The Other Side of Desire.  It truly was four journeys into the far realms of lust and longing. This book really deals with these topics head on; it seems Bergner invested so much of his time and emotion into the people that he interviewed. I have heard about foot fetishes, pedophilia, hardcore sadomasochism, and many other sexually perverse things. But what really is sexually perverse?

I always thought it was the “nasty, disgusting, bad” things that people got sexual pleasure out of. Now I see things a little bit differently. I may not agree with or enjoy the things that some people do, but does that make those acts perverted? Perversion is various means of obtaining sexual gratification that are generally regarded as being abnormal; a serious deviation from what is orthodox. Apparently people get sexual pleasure from just about anything. People can fall in love with inanimate objects, with horses, some people get pleasure from dead bodies!!! I mean, it all seems freaky to me but these things are real and out there.

What I’m trying to say is that society puts up these rules, or walls that tell us what is wrong and what is right. Whether a person into bondage or loves feet, people cannot suppress the sexual desire they feel. “Were talking about a powerful, biological based appetite. And if that drive gets aimed in the wrong direction it still wants to be satisfied.” (21) Society makes those things burdens, because they aren’t clean or right. The guilt of this sexual “disease” sits in a person and makes them feel crazy. Like in Jacob’s case; He felt like his foot fetish would ruin his marriage.

Jacob feels like a monster, unable to fit with society. “Sometimes he didn’t need any contact with his penis at all. He could reach orgasm simply from the feel of feet in his palms or against his tongue or from the sight of a high arch or a broad step.” (15) He hates his sexual condition, but we could look at it from another angle. His desire brings him such a deep pleasure that most people don’t feel.  His desire doesn’t hurt anyone, so why would he feel like a monster?

I find it so interesting that there are endless kinds of sexual pleasure that people take part in. Some perverse things are clearly wrong, because they hurt people and this cannot be allowed. However, is it a curse or a blessing that others can get explosive joy out of nonconformist tendencies that are potentially not harmful?